Am I? Yes. Yes I am. Looking at schools, yes. Wait...school? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I hate school. But here I am: one tab open at GRADUATE programs at U of O (Literary non-fiction, communication and society) and another at (of all things) Environmental Law and Criminal Law at Lewis and Clark. Law school?! The horror. I'm not nearly clever enough. While we're on the subject, just school in general was never my strong point. Yes, I got good grades. Mostly. We'll ignore the time I failed "info gathering" or that one D in Music Theory. My argument: both those classes were in winter term.
Which brings up another subject about how this winter is the best one I've ever had. Nobody died, was on the brink of dying, or had a huge, disastrous, suicide-inducing personal crisis (that I know of). Do I want to bring that all back by going to school? Current theory is that winter term school=the end of joy and fruitful existence.
But...professors...graduate school. HOLY COW! I have a bachelor's degree...such things are no longer beyond me (if we pretend money is not an issue for a minute).
Hastily I add: this means nothing. NOTHING. All and absolutely nothing.
Just some thought I had.
I am where I am for the conceivable future (barring complete economic collapse or being fired). School might be in my five year or ten year plan. But it also, as easily, might not be. It's an interesting daydream. And that, of course, is the problem. All daydreams are doable and all daydreams are nice. Do not be fooled, do not allow the beguiling, weaving, the lure of a plan drive you to something mad unless the madness is desirable above all other gods and good to make one wise. And even then, stay back a bit before jumping any cliffs.
It is nice, though, to taste that bachelor's for the first time since I got it.
My nature is a planning nature and I haven't been making any plans recently. This needs to stop and plans must be made even if they never happen. With a plan, I embark on some course and I stop wallowing and I sleep better at night because I have something to think about. Having a big plan gives me chart by which I can make smaller plans because those big plans take a lot of preparation and have their own prerequisites.
So it is time to:
- break out the books about power and government again ("Models of Democracy" anyone? I'm nerdier about this book than anything else I know). It's been awhile since I've read them and I've missed those violent Appalachian coal miners and Augusto Boal and theories of direct democracy.
- write a few essays/lit.non.fic. pieces...maybe try for outside publication??? scary thought
- actually finish that story cycle I've outlined and re-outlined for the last two years
- write those news/feature stories that would be good for the paper and that I actually want to write
- $avings plan
But first. And foremost. I must brush my teeth before I leave for today's assignment: Medieval jousting tourney at the fairgrounds. No, I don't know anything about it either.
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