Saturday, June 26, 2010

hikecycle bicycle + a dead sea lion

Wrote this last night for you to read today. Ta da!

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Saturday means good weather, no work and a minus tide that's not quite minus tide enough for me to squeeze between two cliffs usually separated by deep ocean water. So instead of an easy route, entailing a little jog down the sandy beach, I hiked up and over the cliffs on a familiar deer trail which is usually easy (if steep). Except I hadn't counted on the sudden upsurge of plant growth over the last few weeks.

The trail was thickly overgrown with a yet unidentified Oregon plant that sends out little shoots and tendrils. These squirm around until they find another plant (preferably one across the trail from the first plant). The tendrils loop themselves around a bit of branch or twig or leaf, firm and fast, and hold on for dear God and country until a mean hiker comes crashing through and pulls them apart. Which is, more or less, what I did for about two miles of deer trail, barefoot and at 8:30 in the morning. Then I fell, I mean...gracefully slid down a sandy cliff side and got my bum and hands all dirty and discovered THIS:



If there were money in maggots...see how it's just seeeeeeething.

I feel you're not appreciating this enough.



Nom nom nom nom.

See how that maggot (right down there) is all mouth agape? "Flesh! More more more!" It's like the Sarlacc Pit.



I had to get very very close to snap these photos. I love whatever misfiring in my brain caused me to be a journalist and approach so many things in life with a sick desire to KNOW and EXPERIENCE rather than be "emotionally involved with or about." This causes problems in other areas in my life, but currently it enables me to hunt up horse carcasses, take pictures of maggots and try to talk my way into a trip to a morgue.

Did I mention today was exquisite? I offer proof and maggot-less photos









Thursday, June 24, 2010

anemic anemone amnesia

That's what I got. I think. I need a second opinion.

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C. was kissed long and passionately by a troll at this festival. I skillfully and successfully ducked between several people and half fell down some trailer steps to avoid such a fate.

I need to get going and write Part II of this epic tonight. Feedback I got on this: "It sounds like any minute the city and park service are going to start dating." I suggested they could share a milkshake.

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It's been a long absence. I have reasons: I'M ANEMIC!

Maybe.

Possibly.

We're keeping our options open.

Anyway. What's really going on is that I've been so very busy since last Tuesday -- running up and down the coast -- and so very sick since Saturday. The sick has manifested itself in extreme fatigue usually accompanied by headaches and just a nasty rotten feeling in my core and full of forgetting about day to day activities. I finally started taking some vitamin B and iron and have slowly started to feel better. We'll see.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

#147:

If
for instance
I'd slept all the way through each night for the last
three nights
instead of waking up every hour, on the hour,
cold
sad
sleepy
and just crazy about camp
I might have woken up at 4:50 instead of 5 this morning and I would have had the moral fortitude to drag my sad carcass out of the shrieking mattress on the top bunk of the rolling camp beds at 5:15 instead of 5:23
and
instead of driving down Hwy 101 in the cool dawn of fast approaching 6 a.m. to hit Astoria at 6:30, I would have been there at 6
which means
I could have taken a shower at 6:35 instead of 6:46 and I would have gotten to work at 7:04 instead of 7:23 and I would have had 19 whole extra minutes to review my notes from yesterday's reporting and
(a truly pivotal "and")
I would not have made the mistake I made in this story:
which is about the South CLATSOP Slough. Not the South COUNTY Slough.
This compounds itself with a day in which I have never felt so beat up in recent memory
It's like God pointed at my emotional stability and told all the saints of heaven to play rugby with it
Then He saw that I was feeling way too healthy and hike-erly, so He smote me with mysterious sickness in the middle of a three-story day juggling competition
I wanted to go to FC after work and bask in fellowship and love and possibly back rubs from my Mumsy
But no.
FEMA. Oh FEMA.
FEMA decided to have a meeting
at 5
If they'd had it at 1 instead of 5
If my hair had had time to dry before work
If my shower, if my trip, if my eyes had opened
and if all of this had existed within a special, extra two-hour slot of time
this day would have been much better

I'm a rattlesnake, babe. I'm like fuel on the fire.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

there'll be no sad farewell



3 articles:

(a) Goonies fans = good business. Do you know why? Because they're NERDS. I didn't say it. The comic book store guy did.

(b) Sometimes debates are easier if nobody knows what's going on.

(c) County meeting

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Today I over-soaked the split peas. Four hours later, the darn things were still hard and unpalatable. Oh well. I'm over food anyway.

Today I realized I've started slouching and being sedentary at an alarming rate and gaining weight for the first time since my last growth spurt when I was 15. This is interesting. In the way that the moldy jar of peaches on my counter is fascinating. I can't throw it away. I'm transfixed. It molds in peace, growing in power with each week. It might start making penicillin or Life any day now. Somewhere deep down I'm a scientist.

Today I did not finish the story for tomorrow since my concentration fizzled out after four straight hours of public land use hearing.

Today I finished McCarthy's "Outer Dark" which has harrowed my soul, but in a good way and I'm slowly getting hooked on dear, frightening Cormac, much in the way that folk hook onto heroin, or fish onto fishing poles.

Today I really realized that my brother D. is 17 years old. Merciful Lord. I don't know why I'm so slow on the uptake. Seventeen wasn't so long ago. I feel like I've stopped moving and all them kids are sprinting.

Today I read, of which I reproduce a fragment, this:

May came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
it’s always ourselves we find in the sea

- EE Cummings (or e.e. cummings, if you prefer. I heard he wasn't particular)

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

#145: Gooniesgooniesgoonies

Second to last Goonies story. Tomorrow is a business story.

Everyone, Curt Hanson. Can't you see him as Prospero? He has the voice and the weighty brow.



He is a nice man and we talked about Shakespeare and how book editors have messed everything up with their weird punctuation handicaps. It's like they were so crammed with literature that they could only think in semi-colons. Then they polluted the earth.

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Here's the story.

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So I'm wondering, what DO people think of the Goonies? I've decided my opinion is completely invalid since I'm only happy when I'm covering courts or dead animals.

Monday, June 7, 2010

#144: just because you can doesn't mean you should

FINALLY. Goonies week is over. Almost. Nearly. One more story. (Backstory: This last weekend was the 25th Anniversary of The Goonies, a 1985 cult classic, etc.etc.etc. Much of this movie was filmed in Astoria. People saw it when they were children. It's an okay movie. It's fun. Yet people are odd and petty about their childhoods and incredibly neurotic. Thus, a full four days of orgy related to a movie. I tried to understand. I failed. The closest I got was when two brothers told me a story, which you will find in THIS ARTICLE. But maybe that was just amusement.)



So I covered a concert last night. I love (LOVE) concert lighting, how it illuminates one area and the rest is framed in black shapes, how it can pick out a single face or a line of faces. It's like a painting; what is suggested and what is shown; the lines that may or may not be real but you understand where they are going; the unnaturalness: the machines and the cords and wires and people glamming themselves out even when they're a bluegrass band.



All you need to know about the concert: The Whiskey Rebellion is fantastic. Corey Feldman's Truth Movement...not so much. Feldman, if you don't know, when he was young, played a series of loud, obnoxious children in movies, most famously: "The Goonies" as the character Mouth.

He is a very tiny man and he takes himself absurdly to the edge of total egotism. I have never witnessed such a self-absorbed show.

First, he had his band play not one or two songs from his new album, but all of them. In their entirety. No pauses except for atmospheric buildup while he was offstage changing into, for example, a vinyl polka dot suit. The album was a concept album. The premise: technology has invaded our lives. What are its roots? Where is it going? Was Ezekiel (as in the Old Testament and Hear ye all of Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one) visited by extraterrestrials? And if so, did technology come before the fatal apple of Eden?

This is expressed through the repetition of simple words (like "okay") and repetition implies a bitter and resigned submission. The careless "Okay" is supposed to become anthem and hymn by being growled out enough times by the Lead Singer who grows increasingly betrayed and imprisoned by, I don't know, the Vortex Death Robots or something. Except it's probably something more circular and visionary like The Oneness. Or The Machine. Capitals always sneak in a lot with these kind of projects I've noticed.

This is also, leading from that tippity-top thought I started with: This is also expressed through a blur of noise. I'm all for noise. Noise is interesting and subtle and complex and weaves its merry webs and is almost entirely about no one except the person making the noise. I'm talking about noise that goes nowhere. Noise that, further, goes nowhere and is wrapped up in its noiseness and the sheer cussed cleverness of the maker of the noise. It may not take away from anyone, but it certainly doesn't give back. It's incestuous, vomity and smells like dead cat, like a perverse Pillsbury Dough Boy who sits by itself telling itself how pretty and canny it is, back turned on everything. It is something collapsing inward with a the squishy crunch of an unhealthy spine.

Let me say it this way, I love jazz. I used to love to play jazz (I can't play anymore, but that's because I'm lazy or it's not in my fingers or my list of desires or something). But jazz can be alienating. The best jazz, even the crazy stuff of Thelonious Monk is never alienating. Monk can go all avant garde on his keys, pushing out noise with the best of them, completely hooked into what he's doing. But he lets it all breathe. It's about the music and it's about him. Mostly its about sound and Monk is tidy. Don't be fooled. You could eat dinner off the kitchen floor of his jazz.

Bad jazz sits on the most difficult notes for as long as possible. Its fingers fly. It preambulates up and down unlikely and intriguing sounds. This is not a crime. However, the problem with bad jazz is it's not doing this for any good reason. The music does not ask it or call it or delight in the unexpected. The musician does not desire it. And everyone knows. They're trying to dazzle us or hide something from us. It's not a risk or even a mistake. It's just false.

Monk's music is not always beautiful, but it is usually about truth. Oscar Wilde was coy and said the truth is rarely pure and never simple. So I'm not arguing for a "I-V-I and thou shalt always resolve! COUNTERPOINT COUNTERPOINT aghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" No. Unexpected, unexplained, risky, ugly, absurd, lovely. It's all possible (if not probable or always entirely workable). Chaos even finds a decent pattern.

Egotistical people, despite themselves, can make good music. In many ways, I think great artists of any path have to be supreme egotists in that they must believe that what they're doing is what they're supposed to be doing and that is a difficult task. They have to pick apart their insecurities and push through them while still living with them, fall victim to them, but keep on working.

So what bugged me about Truth Movement is that from beginning to end, it was about nothing. It was like reading a poem I'd written when I was 14 and so self-involved, I couldn't see daylight if it danced naked up and down the street. I was so dumb, I thought I was even saying a truth about myself. What I've learned since is that, if we're being honest, we're always peeling back lies.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

girl scouts

The girl scouts and I had caught the dog that had appeared from nowhere by the bushes, dragging the wet and smell of bog with it. We'd improvised a leash out of string and bungee cords. We'd called dispatch to report a dog running loose in the camp. A dozen tiny girl scouts had already made it through three screaming fits. And now I was sitting on the hill being eaten by mosquitoes, dog splayed on its side, tail registering high wags, gnawing at the leash every few minutes while several girl scouts casually asked me what a "period" was. I said it was the end of a sentence and left it at that though I was tempted, sorely tempted, to say: "The end of a sentence, the beginning of life on death row." About ten minutes before the camp fire sing-a-long time, a squad car finally rolled up to release us of the dog.

The officer, an aging cop white hair still waving triumphantly across the top of his head, got out. He asked a passing 40-something-year-old scout mom if she was Katie Wilson. No, she shook her head.

"I'm Katie Wilson," I said, raising my hand like a kid in school.

"Oh," he said, looking me over, then he asked, "Is there an adult in charge here?"

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In his defense, I did look like this:



Yes. The hat, does in fact, have ears. And ribbons.

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I spent the afternoon hanging out with girl scouts at their camp, teaching outdoor cooking with C. and C's friend. I smell of smoke and I'm covered in mosquito bites. I can still hear the darn things humming in my ears. I'm going to try every remedy from organic/made by hand/made with love (J trim trim) salve to toothpaste.