this part of the year in review

Wrote this earlier. Now it's posting.

Taking a wee break from mental health treatment. That's the story going in tomorrow--of a theory--and I've been trying to rope it in all morning. It was a huge 41-inch sprawling mess yesterday and became a somewhat more organized, yet still sprawling, mess at 7 am, when I tackled it after some early morning page proofing. One of my kind and wonderful colleagues read it over and gave me some good suggestions. I went home and slept for half an hour at 10, came back, made phone calls and then took myself to a coffee shop to kill the beast. Which is what I think I've just accomplished. I'm going to let it brew for a bit and then take another peek. My absolute deadline is 3 p.m. So, really, I have years and years. Funny how my perspective on time has become completely mad. It really is years. Two hours: an untold luxury of time.

But enough brooding.

Let's go on to something really happy: Sentencing.

Actually. This is not happy at all. This is always always depressing and gives me a stomach ache. But here it is: Seaside brothers get 20 months for random beating.

We've received letters. Who said if you're not making someone angry by something you write you're probably not doing your job? I can't remember. I wish it wasn't like that. I wish people didn't do foolish, violent things.

---

I finished reading some Jack London. It might be a while before I eat a hamburger and when I do, I'm going to fall upon it and shake it so that its neck will break and it won't be able to run away. Then there will be a conflict between my doggish and wolfish natures when another person asks if they can have a wee bite. Maybe I'll growl and show my fangs. Who knows.

resolutions

Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then)

In this year of our Lord two thousand + ten, I hereby resolve to...

1. Write letters/Send postcards -- Decent communication is going a grotesque and dreary dog way down the sink so I resolve to write lots of letters. It will take time, organization, love, and energy. Nothing worth doing is done in a second though and it's good practice anyway, a break from news writing. I love mail and so do most other people.

2. Read -- I have a list somewhere. It begins with Hannah Arendt, middles with social justice/God/color theory and probably ends with some novel I've been avoiding, like "The Brothers Karamazov" or "The House of Mirth"

3. Make art on a consistent basis & Commit to finishing pieces -- It might be a good idea to set up some sort of process blog or facebook album so that I have a visual map of what I'm doing. Or maybe that will kill my soul. I don't know. Might as well try.

3a. Keep in touch with last year's art teachers, art mentors, and art friends.

4. Simplify -- I've spent the last few months paring down what I actually need. I've recycled clothes, given away shoes, stopped wearing makeup, and figured out other ways to store/build/buy/use/reuse things. I'm sure there's more I could do. We don't really need so much stuff, she said, surrounded by books and art supplies.

5. Draw up a budget and stick to it -- I'm careful with my money, but I really should lay out a budget for myself. Now that I'm entering this new phase of adulthood, I want to start saving and I want to stop worrying. Money has been a general nasty obsession in the back of my mind for several years and I'm sick of that. If I have a budget, I have pinned money down. I win I win I win.

So we'll see now. New Year is mostly an illusion of a second start, but it's nice to mark the time.