mule variations

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I bought a CD last week. I can't stop listening to it even though I've heard the songs all before years ago. I think I'm in love with the handmade component of it all: a CD. In a CD player. The kind that still has a tape deck. Will wonders never cease? When I go on long driving trips, the CD player boom box comes with me and it runs off of...BATTERIES, huge batteries. Batteries bigger than babies. Bigger than five babies.

The CD, if you are curious, is Tom Wait's "Mule Variations." How do people (Laura) not like Tom Waits? How do they (Laura) not throw themselves prostrate before his holy altar, beating their breast and sobbing, "I'm not worthy!" How does that not (Laura) happen?

Regard:

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In the last three days, I've subscribed to one magazine and bought four others: two trashy women's fashion magazines, one archaeology trade thing, and one science magazine.

I read in a book written by a journalist that people serious about their craft should read lots of...stuff. They should commit to read one weird thing each week. At least.

So...

The trashy women's magazines have taught me that OMG yes you can totally be a sex symbol (well praise God) in those jeans, but...you know...the good kind of sex symbol. Not the bimbo-y kind. In this modern feminist world you have to draw the line somewhere. Preferably, very very low.

All of the stories start with quotes, but the thing is they're all really dumb quotes. The writers aren't bad. Why are they starting with these quotes? Is it a requirement? Is it something the editors do?

"Sullivan! What's with these miles of context-establishing, beautifully written, poetic leads and opening paragraphs?! You know we can't print this! Here, watch. I'm going to just slash it all the way down 10 inches to...to...here."

"But, with all respect, sir, that's so confusing. You have no idea who's talking or why they're saying what they're saying. Actually that's the most boring part of the story."

"Well, you wrote it. Good lord, don't I have enough to do already? You're a writer for landssake. Just stick in an attribution there instead and put in a single sentence establishing the scene. Glory!"

Furthermore, in the beauty insider tips there's no point to why you have to do all this stuff to your eyelashes and the loose skin under your arm. Yet it's accepted that, Ummmm...of course you want to fix that. Of course you worry about that. Everyone does.

It looks like a never-ending course of disappointment and betrayal to me and this denial of pores seems unhealthy. The message: let them breathe, but make sure you hide them at all times. Women do not have pores...men must never discover that we do or else all is lost.

Also, these magazines are for straight-haired people and have no tips in their "8 Tips for Perfect Hair ALWAYS" for curly-hair folk. Well fine.

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You got to get behind the mule
every morning and plow